Adda- Why it is a ‘must’

women travel

It was 4 p.m. and drizzling. I was working at my project and was generally depressed. Suddenly the phone rang. It was Ashu, he and Antara had decided that they were meeting at the tea shop for the hot samosas and ginger tea. They had called Manish too.

It took me 5 seconds to deposit the books and spring out of the bed, change and go out after a calling out to mom, to shut the door behind me. Binod da’s Tea Corner- friends, hot samosas and ginger tea and talk talk and talk. Animated conversation and laughter . What fun. My mood lifted up in a jiffy.

All of us had done very well in our lives, in whatever interview we had faced and in whichever profession we had taken up. At least never had any problems in communicating with others. The impromptu adda sessions had left their mark on our confidence,the ease and the expressions, the positive body language and creative talks. As far as the etiquette part was concerned that was duly taken care of by my ‘ever so prudent’ mother, who would not go beyond a very controlled ‘stoopid’ and one look with her big eyes and we all were duly regimented. There were of course some strict ground rules. If we followed those, then there was peace all around.

Today when I interact with the young adults, I am quite surprised to find how scared many of them are to:

  • Take decisions
  • Experiment
  • Talk and share their thoughts
  • Imagine and express

Here I am not talking about those who are young achievers and have already gone forward in their lives with or without their parents’ support. The percentage of such talents are 25-30% and rest of them are divided in 2 groups:

  1. One who tries and keep on trying to be a ‘success’
  2. One who has concluded that he/she cannot ever be a success, however much they try. So they wait for the inevitable failure to hit them around each turn in life.

I will go into the underlying reasons in another article but, the skills these youngsters end up lacking in are:

  • Creativity- in thoughts and speech
  • Decision making- Unable to take in risk of being wrong, rest the world berates him/her.
  • Low Self Esteem- Neighbors’ sons and daughters and cousins are always more ‘successful’ in life.
  • Low on Interpersonal Skills- fear of speech, expressions and low in confidence.

Adda: The concept

When I looked for the meaning of the word, I came up with the following options:

  1. All the criminal elements gather in a den in the evening.The ones we see in our movies.
  2.  An adda (Bengali: আড্ডা) is a form of intellectual exchange among members, who were originally of the same socio-economic strata, but the process has democratized in modern times. It is most popular among the youths belonging to the so-called “middle-class intelligentsia”. Although many Kolkatans boast of the city being the birthplace of adda culture, Satyajit Ray (in his film Agantuk) traces back the origin of the tradition to regular intellectual dialogues prevalent in Ancient Greece at the time of Socrates or Plato. Adda is a prominent leisurely activity in India and Bangladesh. Adda was incorporated into the Oxford English Dictionary in 2004.

This indeed was interesting. But then that would mean that an adda session would mean meeting and brainstorming about news, views, ideas, opinions and enjoy that  for a complete Adrenalin shot. But then, why have parents and their wards have lost their faith in the concept? Since when has the word Adda become a waster’s journey into ‘nothingness’?Adda

ADDA – The benefits

While working as a trainer for Employ-ability Skills, we advise the young brigade to make groups and get into group discussions to nurture their communication skills. We organize skill building classes for them. Tell them to work on their body language and voice modulation, whereas all these can be learnt and applied in an Adda session very easily. In Bengal, where English is a big bane for most of the students, an adda session with multilingual friends can help them in fluency and add to their list of English vocabulary(apart from the colorful words that they obviously adopt).

Adda and more adda adds on to the creativity and flair of speech in us. Nowadays when Adda zones have become restricted to the pages of FB and WhatsApp , the virtual identity lends a cover to people as they can remain incognito and behind the facade of their virtual image. They do not have to pay importance to the other’s reactions and can express as much, and any way they please. Adda with friends makes us a reactive and creative talker. We are instantly aware of other people’s reaction to our words, and then speak accordingly. The reflexes are natural and body confidence grows in leaps and bound. Speech slurs and hesitation disappear and interaction becomes easier.

Adda sessions also work as knowledge banks. Starting from colorful discussions about the other gender to nation building, an adda session has no limits to its variety. You can have all four segments of team building (forming, storming, norming and performing) to achieving great heights in ideating, anything is possible. Those who dabble in music or theater , they have an extra edge.

Adda sessions build confidence. The conscious mind of the young adults often cautions them of ‘What people will think’and ‘how they would look, while speaking’. The more we speak to people, that cautious voice stops affecting them. So animated interactions, debates, fights and patch ups build the confidence, make people stronger. But remember it always takes two to tango and the more the merrier.

Adda sessions without the intrusive mobile or any laptop is something which helps people, specially the ones who lack confidence gather courage, interact and become better communicators. Give it a thought. May be its time we went back to them.

Disclaimer: Many may claim to be introverts and hence unable to speak to people. But that doesn’t stop them from making friends. All proclaimed introverts I know, are doing rather well in life and communicate very well, it is just that they do not chose to speak many a time and are very selective about the company that they keep. This article is only for those, who are unable to speak to people because they think they are being judged and weighed on every word and expression. 

Social Service




The bane of Employment

The Bane of Employability


The Campus pre placement trainings are such puny efforts by the esteemed colleges, when they want to justify the funds, run a quick 14 days training session to fill up the skill gap which is widening day by day.

In some institutes the management insists that the faculty can train the said candidates. The result is: the training leaves  the trainees wanting for more as they are bored and not much impressed by the faculties training Skill Building in their age old lecture demonstration method and not so very impressive satisfying campus placement drives.The situation is same in almost every college. The colleges are clueless and the trainees are listless and yearn to learn more.

What the colleges really need to do:

1. Set up a career counseling cell as the students are unaware of the opportunities in placement and skill building needs.

2. Conduct training session in Employability Skills for at a complete semester before Campus placement drive

3. Train their own faculty in Class Management and Soft Skill, if they want to run it with internal faculties.

4. Make the training in Class Management mandatory for every Faculty.

5. The faculties should also go for up gradation in their skills and technical knowledge.

And most of all, be it institute or be it corporates, need analysis before any training is absolutely mandatory. The trainings should always be need based and not situation driven.

My experience has been that students love Employability Skills Training Sessions. Let them have the pleasure of learning.

Narcissist- My way or the highway-Part I


Monisha was a bit disturbed. As we were drinking coffee she was trying to concentrate on my words but I could see, she was rather distracted . I stopped and asked her what was wrong.

“It’s Virat, I am a bit confused”, she murmured softly.

“What’s wrong?”

She has been in this relationship for quite some time now and seemed quite euphoric at the beginning. The flushed face, chatting online and meetings all was going quite well. The gifts, flowers and roses had become a bit irregular but she was happy and that is what mattered. This was not her first relation but this time she seemed to be quite enthralled by her experience.

“Nothing much really. It is just something which is very uncanny. Can I talk to you?” She seemed to have made up her mind and kept her coffee mug down.

“Yes, do tell me,” I said.

“Well, he is really a wonderful person; please do not get me wrong. I mean, I am very happy with him. He actually is quite a charm to be with, passionate too, but……” She took a sip of her coffee.

“Well, it is those small things which are making me a bit uncomfortable. He is doing quite well professionally. He is very professional person,a  perfectionist at that and into real estates . He is really good in many other things. He sings well, is a good writer, blogs extensively and can speak well. He is very popular in social networks, he is an excellent cook. You know Maya, he is actually a genius. Whatever he puts his hands into it yields great results. I am actually quite taken in by all that, but…. I am also kind of feeling cornered because I am so awed by him, that I am about to forget who I am and what I am all about. I mean, I know I am the only one who is going through this, but tell me where am I going wrong?”

I looked at her as she stopped, a bit out of breath. I took her hand and asked her:

“Wait a minute. He really sounds too good Monisha but you have really known him for some months now,how did you come to know about all his qualities? O.K let’s begin again. All these qualities of his, how do you know he is good at it?”

“Well, I know because I have read his blogs. He is really good Maya. I have heard him speak. People listen to him. Professionally too he is quite successful.” 

“How do you know? Do you work for him?” I asked.

M: No, but he tells me about his achievements. Whenever he cracked a deal, we had gone out celebrating and enjoyed the outing.

I: O.K. So you don’t really know? He told you. O.K what about his cooking? Have you ever tasted the food which he cooked?

M: No, but he would often tell me how he entertains his friends and how they love his cooking and how popular he is.

I: And about music? Does he sing to you often?

M: No, but yes, I have heard him sing. He says his friends often request him to sing. He is good. He  was also into fine arts at one time. Doodles rather well.

I: So basically whatever he says, most of the time it is what he says about himself and  you believe him completely?

M: Aaaa…..yes. (She looked quite confused now.)

I: O.K .let me ask you something, does he talk about you or listen to you?

M: Oh yes, he does. He often asks me things and I reply, explain.

I: Now, answer this very carefully. Does he listen to you when you ramble or simply want to talk or only wants you to answer his questions? Cuts you short when you talk a lot?

M: Well, he talks so well that I love listening to him. Actually I tell him only when he wants to know.

I: And, does he help you often? I mean whenever you require a helping hand, listen to you or offer suggestions?

M: Yes he does. I mean he listens and tells me what to do.

I: Again think about this- suppose you have forgotten to pay your mobile bill and you are in your office from where you cannot access the site to pay online. Will he do it for you?

M: Well. I don’t know. May be, but he is very structured so in all probability he would grumble a lot about me being careless.

I: Have you asked him what attracts him to you?

M: Maya, he says he is attracted to me physically. I look good and I am quiet sensual, that’s what he says. Maya, he likes my company immensely. I know. There is something wrong with me. Why do I doubt him?

I: Monisha, when he talks, how many times he uses ‘I’ statements?

M: Maya, you know me. I do not like talking about myself much and moreover I really like listening to him, the way he talks and would talk about various subjects. So yes I do listen to him a lot and yes he really shares his opinions and expressions. 

I: Monisha, ‘I’ statement?

M: (with a nervous laugh) quite a few times. 

 I could have asked her many more questions to confirm my fear. But I already could see a pattern in Virat’s behavior. I held her hand and patted her gently. “It is not you Monisha; you really need to understand a bit more. I will like to ask you few more questions and then if need be please check in with a counselor.”

Virat was showing traits of NPD- Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I crossed my fingers and hoped it wasn’t so. Monisha really did care for him quite deeply.


Story of Narcissus:

According to Greek mythology: 

Narcissus was a beautiful youth and was loved by many but he loved none. He was quite self oriented. Echo’s passion for Narcissus was equaled only by her passion for talking as she always had to have the last word. One day she enabled the escape of the goddess Juno’s adulterous husband by engaging Juno in conversation. On finding out Echo’s treachery Juno cursed Echo by removing her voice with the exception that she could only speak that which was spoken to her.

Echo often waited in the woods to see Narcissus hoping for a chance to be noticed. One day as she lingered in the bushes he heard her footsteps and called out “Who’s here?” Echo replied “Here!” Narcissus called again “Come”, Echo replied “Come!” Narcissus called once more “Why do you shun me? Let us join one another.” Echo was overjoyed that Narcissus had asked her to join him. She longed to tell him who she was and of all the love she had for him in her heart but she could not speak. She ran towards him and threw herself upon him.

Narcissus became angry “Hands off! I would rather die than you should have me!” and threw Echo to the ground. Echo left the woods a ruin, her heart broken. Ashamed she ran away to live in the mountains yearning for a love that would never be returned. The grief killed her. Her body became one with the mountain stone. All that remained was her voice which replied in kind when others spoke.

Narcissus continued to attract many nymphs all of whom he briefly entertained before scorning and refusing them. The gods grew tired of his behavior and cursed Narcissus. They wanted him to know what it felt like to love and never be loved. They made it so there was only one whom he would love, someone who was not real and could never love him back.

One day whilst out enjoying the sunshine Narcissus came upon a pool of water. As he gazed into it he caught a glimpse of what he thought was a beautiful water spirit. He did not recognize his own reflection and was immediately enamored. Narcissus bent down his head to kiss the vision. As he did so the reflection mimicked his actions. Taking this as a sign of reciprocation Narcissus reached into the pool to draw the water spirit to him. The water displaced and the vision was gone. He panicked, where had his love gone? When the water became calm the water spirit returned. “Why, beautiful being, do you shun me? Surely my face is not one to repel you. The nymphs love me, and you yourself look not indifferent upon me. When I stretch forth my arms you do the same; and you smile upon me and answer my beckoning with the like.” Again he reached out and again his love disappeared. Frightened to touch the water Narcissus lay still by the pool gazing in to the eyes of his vision.

( source:

This story can be used for marking the symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder.

Symptoms of a Narcissist:

  1. Likes praise, and self praise is the first indication.
  2. Cannot take any criticism, will defend to the point of aggression and at any cost. An argument with a Narcissist person can drag on and on forever till the other concedes.
  3. Thinks of connections as stepping stones and can be quite manipulative at times to get their own end.
  4. Grandiose or exaggerating own importance with active references to achievements and talents. Needs constant affirmation of their worth form others. Considers themselves better than others around them.
  5. Entertains unrealistic fantasies about success, power, beauty, intelligence or romance. Thinks they are the best and have quite extensive knowledge about everything around them.
  6. Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment and will often expect to be treated like an exception. ‘ You have to love me and accept me in spite of all my problem areas.’ ‘I don’t have a problem, you do’
  7. Lacks empathy. They are unable to see or even listen to others and their sorry tales. Would have lot of knowledge but will seldom offer help or support to the one who needs support.
  8. Is easily jealous of others and would take other’s achievement as their failure. Makes them highly competitive.
  9. Obsessive about self goal, occupation and hobbies. Can pursue them with an enviable single mindedness. They will always others what they like,seldom asking them their preference.
  10. Resistant to change and need to co-relate to a structured process. ‘What I believe in is always right, what you tell me cannot change my mind’.

Scary? Do not be scared even if you are into a relationship with a Narcissist. There is a flip side of every coin:

A recent study conducted by accredited psychologist Oliver James, has classified the four types of people who excel in business: psychopaths, Machiavellians, narcissists and the amalgamation of all three. 

Here is why it is actually a good thing to be a narcissist in our competitive business world:

Because You Should Feel Better than everyone else

Our society hates the individual. No one should rise too quickly or be too smart. It takes a supreme confidence to climb the ladder of success. The rest are trampled by a quotidian future.

There’s no reason not to puff your chest and be proud. Self-perception permeates social perception, and confidence demonstrates your superiority. If you believe you are better than everyone else, they will as well.

You Make For A Great Leader

Nice guys are the ones who slave away their whole lives for a narcissist. To be a leader and to be in charge of something, you need to have some pretty tough skin. Being a yes-man, sycophantic, or too agreeable with your subjects only makes those around you less productive and somewhat lazy.

Narcissists enjoy leadership positions because they are able to dominate others without explanation or need of constant positive reinforcement. Self-reliance is what distinguishes a narcissist from a commoner. Ordinary people need direction; the narcissist provides it because he has a constant assurance of his own skills in delegating tasks. He understands how to deal with people on both a personal and business level. And he loves doing it.

You Are Feared And Loved

This is one of the best qualities a leader can have. It’s the simple concept of being both feared and loved. Narcissists tend to have a large amount of charisma, they entertain people and make them laugh, but they’re also feared because they will do anything to get things done. The people a narcissist leads develop a love-hate relationship. The narcissist brings out the best of them because he drives them to work harder and they desire to please him.

You Know Exactly What You Want Out Of Life

A narcissist is focused. His work ethic is indefatigable. When he loves what he does and believes in his cause, there is no halting his progress. Narcissists are the kind of people who know what they want from life. This is a far stretch from the liberal arts youth whose great philosophical meanderings of purpose leave them stranded.

Being a narcissist means using charm, charisma, work ethic, confidence, arrogance and dominance to get to the top. And in today’s world all that matters is ending up at the top of the food chain, because no one cares about who is below. Yes, this means being impatient or compulsive, but that just develops a necessitation for the immediacy of success.

You Are Self-Centered

If you are not selfish, you will get nowhere. Narcissists seek to devalue other people. And it works. They work harder because of it, and establishing dominance will weaken others as competitors. It’s a dirty game, but it’s a game we have to play.

You Are a *&%#

Ruthless aggression and unflagging ambition will get you to the top. It’s okay to love yourself and to be unerring in your arrogance, because those are all qualities of successful people. How many nice people do you know who are successful? By being a narcissist you choose not to be average, living an average life. You believe you should have more in this life.

Your Dating Life Is Quite Exciting

Narcissism is business focused, but there are perks. You’re not the idiot in the Disney fantasy relationship. You become a playboy and a whore. Narcissists are more stylish and physically attractive. Narcissistic women consistently dress provocatively and narcissistic men demonstrate aesthetic confidence.

The narcissist game consists of quick hook-ups, because they thrill, it’s like being on a roller coaster. We get a rush out of convincing others to engage in promiscuous sexual acts that they might not normally feel comfortable with.

Closing Thought

We’ve explored the connotation of narcissism in popular culture, and I will have convinced you by now of its need for re-appropriation. We shouldn’t frown on what distinguishes the strong from the weak. If you don’t want to be a narcissist, don’t complain to us that you haven’t accomplished anything in life.

(Source: Elite Daily)

The discussion does not end here. More to follow on Part II.

  • NPD relationships
  • NPD parentage
  • NPD Personalities and insecurities
  • NPD and management – for families and friends.


Written by:

Mohua Roy

Founder & Program head – 



Employees & Students Assistance Programs (EAP& SAP)

Employees Assistance Program(EAP)

Employee Assistance Program (EAP)- A Counseling, Training and Referral service for the employees offered by the employers. This program is offered to the employees to help them deal with personal problems that might affect their job performance and work-life balance and well being. EAPs generally include short-term counseling and referral services for employees and their household members. The organization may also refer employees (supervisor referral) based upon unaccepted performance and conduct issues.

Employees and their household members may use EAPs to help manage issues in their personal lives. EAP counselors typically provide assessment, support, and referrals to additional resources such as counselors for a limited number of program-paid counseling sessions. The issues for which EAPs provide support vary, but examples include:

  • Substance abuse
  • Occupational stress/Career and Employability issues
  • Emotional distress
  • Major life events, including births, accidents and deaths
  • Health careconcerns
  • Financial or non-work-related legal concerns
  • Family/personal relationship issues
  • Work relationship issues
  • Concerns about aging parents

An EAP’s services are usually free to the employee and their household members, having been prepaid by the employer. In most cases, an employer contracts with a third-party company to manage its EAP. Some of these companies rely upon other vendors or contracted employees for specialized services to supplement their own services, such as: financial advisors, attorneys, travel agents, elder/child care specialists, and the like.

Confidentiality is maintained in accordance with privacy laws and ethical standards.


English Support

Benefits for employers

Some studies indicate that offering EAPs may result in various benefits for employers, including lower medical costs, reduced turnover and absenteeism, and higher employee productivity. Critics of these studies question the scientific validity of their findings, noting small sample sizes, lack of experimental control groups, and lack of standardized measures as primary concerns. Proponents, however, argue that the consistency of positive findings across studies in different service sectors denote at least some positive effect of programs, even if the most effective components of such programs have not been determined. EAPs may also provide other services to employers, such as supervisory consultations, support to troubled work teams, training and education programs, and critical incident services.

The provision of employee assistance services has established business benefits, including increased productivity of employees (termed “presenteeism”) and decreased absenteeism.

Source: Wikipedia.

ThetaSkills’  EAP & SAP:

Employees’ Assistance Program (EAP)

ThetaSkills’ unique attempt to reach out to the troubled hearts in  Government, Private and Public Sector Organisations  is growing in leaps and bound because of its strong followers who has been benefitted by the services provided by We offer following services under one umbrella brand with a range of experts working in association with us for your benefit .

Our services are:EAP- ThetaSkills

All services are provided with an active feedback and remedies.

ThetaSkills’  Students’ Assistance Program (SAP)

We offer our Expert Employability Services to School, College students and Office goers too:

  1. Career Management & Skill development
  2. Academic Counselling – For students who are feeling helpless and are not able excel in academics.
  3. Co-Curricular trainings: Dance, Music, Theatre, Photography, and any other hobbies they might take up to have a holistic growth.
  4. Guding to Develop stressbusting hobbies for adults.

We have many experts who are associated with us to serve you better and guide all to a better life.

logo_thetaskills Author: Mohua Roy- Founder & Program Head

Career Dilemma- The Indian Picture.

Career Dilemma- The Indian Picture.

As the results of ICSE and ISC are declared along with CBSE and all state boards, what is the picture we get? Students with unexpectedly high percentage of marks will be lauded by the parents, relatives and the society. Others will feel guilty for not being the ‘good boys/girls’. Especially those who could have done much better had they concentrated and learned more (as the teachers had been reporting to their parents all their lives) and some unexpected victories too. Careers will be thought about, rejected and again inquired into, speculated about and finally decided.

Theta- Employability.png-5

The most sought after stream after Xth standard examination is Science. Based on the sample of 100 students in a Government School in Orissa, 56 students had opted for Science, 35 -Commerce and 13 students have opted for Humanities. In Bengal, in one of the Govt. schools the no. of Science aspirants was 65. Today, when we have over 1,200 career choices (all over the world and still counting) maximum number of parents believe that Science is the only option for a student to be successful in life. Commerce ranks second as per the popular belief that it will yield jobs as accountants or may be an MBA degree/diploma can give a fillip  to their career and thus will be profitable in the long run. Least appealing is Humanities. In many schools Humanities become a refuge for failures and scoundrels, where as in many schools humanities are suggested to those with low academic results. Whereas, the truth is Humanities should always be selected by the students who have high aural/oral and writing skills. Humanities also require good memory and techniques of focused learning. In Heritage School in Delhi, Humanities is only granted to those who satisfy all these core abilities.

Theta-Employability 1

There are some myths regarding career choices. The reason being when students take up any particular stream after their class Xth  results parents believe (trend seen in urban areas mostly) that their wards are still too young to know their own wishes and only parents (specially mothers) know the best for their wards and lo and behold if they are proved right, it would set precedence in most of their lives’ pending decisions ( from birth to salvation). In rural sector however, the parents seek help of the neighborhood teachers but sometime some of these ‘well meaning’ teachers often ask the students to take up the subjects in which he only can provide them with tutelage. We all can guess what is the rest of the story.( applicable only to some teachers)

Working as Career and Employability Skills Consultant, I will often find confused teens who would wonder what they are good at. ‘Haven’t really thought about it’ is the most popular phrase I hear from these students , when confronted by clichéd questions like ‘What would you like to be ?’ or ‘Where do you see yourself in five years from now?’

Some myths and reality about Career Solutions in India:

Marks do not matter vs. marks matter a lot:

Recently just as the boards results were to be declared, my Face book page was flooded with well meaning high achievers guiding the harassed youngsters by stating : ‘Remember, marks do not matter’ . I was a bit concerned about these statements as this philosophy is not applicable to all and sundry. Our education system makes us very aware of our academic status and this belief is integrated in everyone in our society. Therefore ‘Marks do not matter’ may become a synecdoche and may mislead many. There are two questions which I will ask:

  1. When marks do not matter, what does and how?
  2. Till or from which stage in life does marks really not matter?

The recent controversy regarding Smriti Irani’s degree and certificates is a prime example of our society’s obsession about Academic Status and molding of social consciousness around the % system.

Hence marks do matter but some other skills are also as important. It is in fact very important to evaluate what other skills you might have to support a career choice of your interest. This obsession with marks by the job givers is reiterated again and again in the following situations:

  1. Selections of the applicants for interviews for more than 60% of job profiles are dependent on good academic performance. Even in CV’s co-curricular activities are seldom given primary importance until and unless the curriculum expertise really aids the applicant’s suitability for the job profile. This is seldom.
  2. Almost all HR professionals I know tell me that marks become a criterion as this proves that the candidates have reasonable intelligence to grasp his job role and adapt faster into it. Whatever the concept of Multiple Intelligence may tell us about seven levels of intelligence, everything stands still in front of the mark sheets. It is only when applicants are chosen for the viva, that other skills are noted.  That includes communication and soft skills too.
  3. Many job profiles have a primary Aptitude Testing, which includes- Logical Reasoning, Verbal Aptitude and Mathematical Aptitude. All these need academic grooming and not any other skill areas. All our administrative jobs like Civil Services, Banking Services, ITES/IT services, are severely dependent on this ‘write only’ selection process in the first round.
  4. Marks also symbolize- perseverance, concentration and a competitive edge, higher ability in comprehension and articulate written expressions and intelligence- HRs confirm.
  5. Even today in India, during recruitment, Distance Learning is given no or little importance. Legally and as per the Govt. recruitment rules, candidates with degrees fron Distance Learning Courses are eligible but they are given less value in Viva rounds. Especially in ITES, IT / Private organizations (including Banks) and Production Houses (where a regular degree in Technical qualification is a must), Teaching and a few other mainstream careers , Distance Learning is not given any importance. TCS blandly declares that no applicant with a IGNOU or Netaji Subhash Open University degree will be entertained by them for fresher’s recruitment purpose. Hence if an applicant is a brilliant photographer and has great communication skills but has a degree from IGNOU, then he will not be entertained for the interview round or will be rejected if applicants at par but with regular degree are in the run for the same post.
  6. 67% aspirants for new courses in Media Science or Business Management or Designing are rejected in the campus or job interviews as they are disqualified on the grounds of non performance in non-academic skill sets. But on the other hand aspirant with high academic performance are often chosen for the same job in spite of low performance in other skill areas.

So the question remains: What else is needed?

Admittedly perspective needs to change but so does our system of evaluating a person’s employability factors.

 English is not necessary in landing the right jobs:

This is partially true in Non-Technical jobs where interpersonal skills are highly counted in as one of the major skills required. But if the candidate in question has the right skill sets, required for the job role and can communicate well in other languages but not maybe a lot in English, they are often considered for the posts on the basis of the other skill sets and later given training from the company in languages that are required in the job.

Applicants in Vocational fields, like factory workers or factory hands (Polytechnique Diploma holders) do not really need English to conduct their daily routine work. However, strangely in most of the production houses as the records are maintained in English, English writing skill is much in demand than speaking skills.

For Administrative jobs, IT and ITES, Retail and Telecom sectors English speaking skills are a must and so are the writing skills. Another fact is that English is required for intra and interdepartmental communication in organizations.  In India, people working in customer care units, need to know Hindi, a local language and communicable English to conduct every day business. This was a conversation I had with an HR of a highly reputed company:

HR: I need some dedicated people for Marketing.

I: Ok. Let me spread the word around. Any level of proficiency required?

HR: Yes, marketing knowhow and good communication, especially English.

I: Ok. Why do you need English speaking candidates? I mean, do they have to be super duper in English?

HR: Na Na, only a bit of communication and basicly( This is how he pronounced ‘basically’) just to understand the urban clients. But it is a necessity when our internal meetings are conducted and when directors do rounds.

I: Ok, I understand. By the way what would they need to market?

HR: Our R&D wing has developed a new brand of pesticides, so they would need to visit the GramPanchayats and the Farmers to sell the sample. Starting salary Rs.20, 000+ perks.

Well, pesticides- selling not marketing, Clients: Mainly farmers, need for  language proficiency : Bengali /Hindi. English requirement: To impress the directors and colleagues. The picture was a maze.

English is not everything in communication and all communication cannot be in English. So how much English is really required to be good in your job? Please verify before you rush to join a ‘spoken English Class’.

I need a job and I am ready for the job market: (Who decides?)

Engineering graduates opt for banking sector

M K Sunil Kumar, TNN | Sep 29, 2014, 07.02AM IST

KOCHI: Banking sector seems to be the latest passion of engineering students from the state. At least half of the students who attend coaching institutes for bank tests in the state are engineering graduates. It is the failure of the engineering sector in the state to provide adequate employment that has pushed students to opt for jobs in the financial sector.

“We have around 2,000 students now. Around 60-70% of them are either B Tech degree holders or from other streams of engineering,” said Renju Mohan, administrative manager, ICD Institute, Kollam.

This is the true picture in India today. Because of no or very limited and conservative knowledge about different career prospects many students take up Science and then Engineering only to find that there are very little prospects or no prospects in the job market for mediocrity. Then the options left to them are either to apply for “Government Jobs or Banking Sector”. So we have 70% spillover from Engineering to Banking. Moreover these Engineers actually take away the career opportunities from the B.Com graduates who primarily are more suitable candidates for the banking sector. This spillover is noted because of the following factors:

  1. Jobs are ‘got’ not chosen here. You seldom have the luxury to choose a job. In India jobs choose you.
  2. Students study and groom themselves without any definite focus or goal.
  3. Science/Commerce /Humanities are a choice which explains academic ability of a student and not his career choice. E.g-
  • any student getting 80% and above- opt for Science
  • any student getting 60% to 80%- opt for Science first then Commerce
  • any student getting  40% to 60%- are left for Humanities.

Resource: Private survey conducted in 2014. Sample size 500. True in 84% cases.

Theta- Employability.png 6

Hence, the decision whether you are job ready or not lies finally at the hands of the HR and you have no control or assessment about yourself as your employability  skill sets are yet unknown to you. Job readiness depends on 3 factors:

  1. The academic/technical knowledge about a job- this depends on the stream and course you have chosen and invested time, labor and money in it.
  2. The type of job you might enjoy doing and the skill sets & an academic degree required for that. E.g- Wishing to be pilot and no scores in Math and Physics. Studying Engineering but do not like Chemistry (The first semester has all the Science subjects except Biology)
  3. Environment suitability: You would like to pursue MBBS but not willing to serve poor or trying to be a teacher but cannot stand crowded places or like answering to authority. Then you are not made for the profession of your choice.

Pursuing a Masters Degree will fetch bigger and better salary:

For students who are not very academics oriented, Masters is not a good option. Reasons are as follows:

  1. Masters in a regular course in any University in India requires scores which is 55% and above, in Graduation. Some top Universities like Kolkata University and Delhi University there is an entrance exam for Masters but merit listers get direct admission. That means loads of time needs to be invested in reading, memorizing and learning and writing i.e. studying.
  2. Masters degree symbolizes a keen interest in academics and also orientation towards teaching. For the profession of teachers and lecturers the first step is a Master’s Degree along with great interpersonal skills.
  3. The availability of jobs which require a Master’s Degree (not MBA) , is 30% lesser than job opportunities  for Graduate candidates. The pay too has only marginal benefits.
  4. A Masters in job oriented courses like Business Administration (MBA) yields a better job opportunity for a candidate.

Hence, when someone you know, typically states that he would like to go for a Master’s degree because he didn’t get a job, stop him right there and ask him to search harder and get trained in some employability skills.

But for those who take their academics seriously , are self motivated, has a keen interest in teaching, and has research orientation please pursue Masters(if you wish to) as it will yield better results in your  career.

Money does not matter:

It matters and matters a lot. Engineers in Banking service, lawyers in Govt. administrative jobs, brilliant photographer working as Analyst, photographer working as an assistant to a lawyer in High Courts, Travelers as Trainers, good mothers as HR professionals have sustained in their jobs year after year, month after month because ‘money is good’. It pays their EMIs and helps them to maintain a life style . When salaries are good and it satisfies till tier 3 of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, it is indeed money which sustains us in our professions. Hence when you pursue the career of your dreams please be sure to ascertain how hefty the source of income can be or it can grow to be in few years time (freshers do not have much choice, but do check in the growth factor) and do check in with your skill sets.


Cheeky trick but required. Bad pay often leads us to the path of frustration in our service life. Servitude demands good monetary benefits :).

Choosing a career is a complex yet simple process. One needs to find his/her focus area early so as to chart a proper career path with the help of parents and teachers and others guides. Knowing the pros and cons of a certain situation is also a thing of necessity as you can then achieve a balance in life. Competitions are getting tougher day by day; parents too are getting crankier by degrees simply because they have less idea than the youngsters about the fast moving world of today. Clear perspective, self analysis and charting the right path for your self will help you in the great run. May be the world is asking the young ones to grow up rather fast nowadays, isn’t it? But that is the way it is. Sad but true.

Don Bosco Career 1


ADULT ADHD- An Awareness.


M was having trouble sleeping again. He was used to these sleepless bouts and would often stay up late into the night, either reading or chatting online. On those days although he would feel a bit fatigued but not enough to be sleepy. On an average he would need 5-6 hours of sleep in a day. But he was always onto some activity or other. His friends and followers were amazed at his energy level.

M was the most active one in the family. Always ready to taste whatever new experiences life could have in a platter for him. There were many friends and well wishers who would always find a guide and a help, in M. Any trouble and they could talk to M and he would do his utmost to shoot it by finding an instant solution.

He was always the brightest side of a party.  Dancing, games, witty comments, if nothing else playing small pranks on people but being the centre of the attention of the party. He would have many acquaintances but very few friends. Only those who could intellectually hold his interest for sometime or listen to his never-ending brainstorming ideas with complete understanding, would stay in his friends’ list. Or else it was always the time for a change.

He was always a bright person with good scores in junior level but as he was promoted to higher classes, he lost interest in listening to the teacher’s never ending drowning voice describing the concepts. Most painful was the part when he would have to practice writing accurate answers. His copies would often have ‘incomplete’ marked on the class works and sometimes on home-works too. Exams were a breeze for first 30 mins and he would be the first or the last one to submit (That is if he procrastinated. One of the last minute writers, you see).

He was quite organized (thanks to his aesthetically right mother) but was not as good as his mother who was a ‘perfectionist’ and would maintain a sparkling clean house which was regimentally organised . But he had a knack of losing things and finding them too. Later when he was working, he would often be called upon to find out the lost things like a file or a note etc. Not that he remembered the location of the lost product but he would apply his logic and find those things faster than anyone else in the office.

Relationships were quite turbulent for him. Either he could not abide by the rules and thus get into trouble with his parents, or he became bored with his usual friends. Girl friends were always trouble because girls of same age would never be in his same wavelength and the older mature versions were often married so the relations would not grow and he would eventually lose interest. But he would be a roaring hit among younger guys, who looked up to him for guidance. They would absolutely hang on to every word he said or followed him blindly in whatever he did.

High agility  with multifarious interests in everything around him and a supreme effort to gain knowledge, led him to the world of books and later on to Google.  It was when he read books that he would retreat into a world of his own. Everything else would slip into oblivion. It was when he had finished knowing about a particularly interesting subject, that he would have this incredible urge to talk about it. That is how he had taken up teaching and then training.

He was incredibly fast in grasping new concepts, technologies. So he  ended up with Net addiction- specifically chats and Facebook.  This neverending everflowing virtual world helped him in two ways. One, he was always moving his fingers (typing, thus satisfying the tactile kinesic need) and two, he was getting a peep into the world of information.  He would always be seen chatting or checking on his Facebook for the new notifications. He checked his phone three times in 2minutes to check if there was any new call or any new message for him anywhere. 573 friends in the Facebook list and still growing. But he would often feel frustrated with stupid status messages like ‘Feeling happy’ or ‘ Going for a picnic’ or ‘Good morning Friendzz’ . He never even acknowledge them.

He was a great multi-tasker but couldn’t hold on to a particular job for a long time until he started working in a field where his need for movement+ knowledge +learning+ informing+ guiding all ,was satiated and then it was the  longest journey in the path of his chosen career, and he enjoyed doing what he did.

Adult ADHD-3

But it was a difficult life for he would find so many things of interests to do. Reading, studying, travelling, writing, photography, and cooking, trekking, bungee jumping and even when he created his own websites it was two websites on a go,on completely divergent topics. The 20 symptoms that he had carried all his life were:

Trouble in concentration:

  1. Trouble in concentration :Trailing away in the middle of the conversations( or probably be lost in thinking about some other plans which were terribly interesting and mind blowing)
  2. Difficulty in reading or listening to others (provided reading and listening was the current interest in his life then it will be ‘Hypofocussed’).
  3. Extreme distractibility- flitting from the work at hand and being interested in some other work.
  4. String of incomplete task. Often bored with regularized tasks like 9-5 service.
  5. Tendency to overlook details and inability to abide by norms in any given situation.
  6. Hard time following directions and keeping within a structure until and unless the end is really lucrative and brings huge success.
  7. Hypo-focus: having extensive interest in a subject or a thought and being completely channelized towards it. If the subject is of utmost interest then it can proceed till a fellowship and research work.
  8. Poor organizational skills. Very disorganized and scattered unless they are genetically perfectionists. Then they acquire mastery in organization.
  9. Chronic procrastination or lateness. (Noted more if one has perfectionism too).
  10. Forgetfulness and misplacing things (more noted in acute cases).
  11. Impulsivity: often interrupts others to speak up, have poor self control- binge buying, drinking, smoking, travelling on whims, plain speaking and speaks or blurts out truths candidly, acts spontaneously without any thought to what may happen as a result, have addictive tendencies, have trouble being confined to one place, needs constant movement.
  12. Emotional hurdles: Low sense of achievement and low self esteem, is often frustrated and quite irritated with slow pace of work, hypersensitivity to criticism.
  13. Trouble staying motivated and mood swings, short often explosive temper, high stress level and high on energy level, activity oriented hence often has problem with people who are slow on uptake.
  14. Hyperactivity : restless often agitated. People with higher IQ often become argumentative but may lack in empathy or social skills, tendency to take risks and getting bored easily.
  15. Racing thoughts, being still or at one place, talking excessively and fast, doing million things at a time.

You see M was diagnosed with Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or Adult ADHD. His problem was not diagnosed at an early age (ideally 3-15) and the diagnostic scales had termed him as a moderate to high ADHD person.

No, all those who recognize the symptoms with their problem areas do not be disheartened because what often medical science hesitates to tell us is the advantage of having ADHD. The upside is rather curious and very encouraging. Starting from Bill Gates to Einstein, Newton, Christopher Columbus, Henry Ford, Michael Phelps, Jim Carry and Richard Branson and many other famous personalities have ADHD. Sadly I couldn’t come up with any list with the names of Indian personalities who are afflicted with ADHD. But I would definitely ask around about Rabindranath Tagore, Swami Vivekananda, Indira Gandhi, Subhash Chandra Bose and the list could go on and on.

One of the famous personalities with ADHD was so scared of being a 9-5 regular in a job, that he opened his own business and is doing rather well nowadays. The person is Bill Gates. There are many more instances where ADHD people have reached the zenith of success just because they have found a profession which they immensely enjoy working in (area of hypofocus).

Adult ADHD-2

So if you do have the disorder or moderately ordered Attention Deficient, and are coupled with more than average IQ you are actually a person who:

  1. Can find quick solutions to a problem.
  2. Able to assess big picture and can solve problems quickly.
  3. Adventurous, courageous and takes initiative, often challenges boundaries.
  4. Always willing to help others, often would go out of their own way to help others.
  5. Have multi potentials and can multitask to a great extent.
  6. Magnetic and attractive personality due to their wit and humor and high energy level coupled with their empathetic nature.
  7. Can see and observe more than other people. Can easily see the pattern in chaos.
  8. Can work very well in professions like: teacher, trainer, actor, counselor and any job which deals with people.
  9. Ability to think on their feet and decisive.
  10. Are absolute joys in the parties.
  11. Good communicator and good public speakers.
  12. Very good in Crisis Management.
  13. Constantly likes learning & evolving.
  14. Very optimistic and can pull others out of depression.
  15. Works very well under pressure.
  16. Takes initiative and can lead from the front.
  17. Great entrepreneur and is often very successful in business development.
  18. Unconventional and very imaginative.
  19. Always futuristic and thinks two steps ahead.
  20. Adaptable, flexible, risk taker.

Adult ADHD-7

ADHD is a disorder in acute cases where mood swings ,  conduct issues and failure in relationships are detected in severe cases. Severe  range of ADHD people should consult a psychologist and a psychiatrist to cope    better with the disorder, but the truth also is that, along with the medication they  also need management and coping skill, because they are very talented and    creative people waiting to find their niche in their lives. Once they find the path    that interests them, they stop at nothing to be successful.

In India most of the adult ADHD cases go undiagnosed and are simply passed off as ‘very confused’ or may be ‘highly energetic person’ with discipline issues. In organisations , we come across people who are unable to sit at one place and are breaking company rules often. They have not been diagnosed and are often blamed for creating discord in office areas. Without diagnosis and medication in severe cases, issues like conduct and behavioural aspects have grown and many had gone to be school drop outs. More than treatment plan, a moderate ADHD affected person needs to learn the coping skills. His disadvantages may turn out to be the cure for his success.

Adult ADHD-6

As a proof of the same theory here is list of people who inspite of having ADHD has managed their ambition and career and have proved themselves to be quite successful. They thrived on their ‘hypofocus’ areas and did well with their talent areas. The list has but few names who managed their disorder and proved their worth to the world.The following names are some of the few: (No name list with Indian celebrities were available)

  1. Sir Isaac Newton
  2. Albert Einstein
  3. Galileo
  4. Alexander Graham Bell
  5. Wright Brothers
  6. Thomas Alva Edison
  7. Benjamin Franklin
  8. Leonardo Da Vinci
  9. Steven Spielberg
  10. Walt Disney
  11. Abraham Lincoln
  12. Woodrow Wilson
  13. John F Kennedy
  14. Winston Churchill
  15. Bill Gates
  16. Mark Zuckerberg
  17. Hans Christian Anderson
  18. Agatha Christie
  19. Vincent Van Gaugh
  20. Pablo Picasso
  21. Magic Johnson
  22. Jim Carrey
  23. Tom Cruise
  24. Robin Williams
  25. Michael Phelps

To check if you might have the disorder and need better management, you can always visit  : – If you have very high scores , please visit a Psychiatrist for consultation.

For further information please read:


There are over 60% cases in Adult ADHD in India. These are the people who were afflicted with the disorder but never thought of getting diagnosis done. My article is for those who are still suffering and maybe would cope better if they knew what was ADHD and how it can really work as an advantage for them. 

Authored by- Mohua Roy( Counsellor , Trainer in Behavioural Skill in corporates and organisations)

MICROLEARNING- A new age concept.

When I started in my career in training, I would often prepare with great enthusiasm and vigor, ready to give the trainees a complete know how in certain process. Over the years, after imparting hundreds of training to people in different companies and institutes, I discovered that along with the training subject, the things which mattered most to people were:

  • Trainer’s entertainment  quotient
  • Ambience
  •  Activities
  •  Food
  •  Day

For example in 8 hours training sessions , organisations would generally prefer to have a training which would be full of fun and frolic, loads of learning and sustainable learning- which the trainees would remember forever and meticulously follow to value add to company’s performance, all in all a great feedback for taking one working day away from the trainees or may be one weekend.


Now the activities and the information are within the control of the trainer, but what remains undecided :

  • Age and work experience of the trainees
  •  Learning pattern of the trainees
  •  Attention span of the trainees
  •  Willingness of the trainees to adapt to the new learning.

It is often that we find the selected group of learners are often from miscellaneous background and thus the formula which applies to A,B,C & D might not be effective for E just because of a different socio-economic background or a socio-cultural set of the person. There is a gap in learning feed back of the trainees and the training may become much less effective than predicted.

In recent times I have felt the need of trainers being essentially experiential and good motivating teachers. The learners also need to be relaxed and out of the constant demands of the office mechanisms. The learning needs to be application based and more structured. Case histories and stories need to be connected to the learning. Keeping in mind the dearth of time and high learning objectives, I have become a believer in the concept of micro-learning. This is a concept which works wonderfully for the learning imparted to the young trainees of IT sector, production houses, and banking and insurance. The training are:

  1. Delivered in 2-3 hours early in the morning without hampering the usual office time.
  2.  Completely learning directed based on an assignment system which will encourage the experiential learning.
  3. On the spot assessment with the learning based gradation
  4.  Enables the companies to structure their expenditure and direct it towards the employees who are open to the learning experience.


In my experience as a Communication and behavior skill trainer this short and structured training  has paid off handsomely. The trainees are able to attend the office hours, the learning is outcome based, assignments are submitted on time and assessments are attended. But certain behavior training  session needs to be kept out of this parameter. They are:

  •  Stress Management
  • Anger and Anxiety Management
  • Team Building and Team Motivation
  • Motivational training on Sales and Marketing

These are added with more power if conducted in an outbound training areas and away from the comfort zone of the office areas.

20140626_172455 20150213_152237 20150225_120229 20150321_171232

Hello world!

Thetaskills is all about our world. The world that we live in, work in ,develop in and work to make it better. I would like to invite you to write in this blog, with me about any issues that make to sit up and take note of the happenings in and around us. Issues, views, incidents most of all what touches our hearts. It is an effort to understand the world around us and may be just may be make it a brighter place to live in.

We all are dependent on our skills to empower us to have a better life. This site is all about any experience or ability areas which are related to these skills:

Theta(Nine) Skills that enrich us:

1. Continuous learning( Education & Information)thetaskills cover pic-5

2. Communication

3. Behavior Skills

4. Emotional Intelligence

5. Employ-ability

6. Social Intelligence & Networking

7. Spiritual Skills

8. Mental abilities with motor skills

9.Visualization (Artistic and spatial abilities)

We counsel, train and empower employees to be better and brighter in their Career growth and management and proof beneficial to their organisational H